I recently was having one of those one sided conversations with God. You know the ones? Where you tell Him all your troubles and you just let off a little steam? Well it was one of those days. It was the kind of day where you just feel completely alone and like you don’t fit in anywhere.
During my conversation with God I asked Him why I didn’t fit in. Why since as far back as I could remember I had not fit in anywhere I had been. I moved around a lot growing up and so I was always the new kid. So naturally, you never feel like you fit in. And as an adult that feeling never left me.
Well, it was in my quiet time that God gently reminded me that I didn’t fit in, because I wasn’t made to fit in! I wasn’t from here; this was only my temporary home. Imagine my relief, finally an answer. Finally, some understanding as to why I always felt like the black sheep. I felt different because I WAS different. I stood out because I was supposed to stand out.
I was made in His image. Not images I see on T.V and images I was made to believe were beautiful. No. I was made in the image of the Most High God. I don’t belong here. I’m not like everyone else. I’m supposed to be different. And guess what? If you are a child of God you don’t belong here either.
Wow, that really does explain a lot doesn’t it? I mean it explains why when we walk in a room everyone stares at us. And you feel like you got toilet paper on your shoe or something on your face. It explains why some people who don’t even know us automatically decide that they don’t like us, for reasons even they understand.
But through that understanding, I learned something far more impressive. I learned that I wasn’t alone in my pasture of sheep; in fact, I was amongst other black sheep as well. Lots of them. We all have a different look, a different sound but we are the black sheep. Friends, we don’t fit in because we’re not supposed to! We were made like Christ and because of that we will never quite fit in. We will always look similar to those around us but we will never be like them, unless we choose to let go of the one who created us. And I don’t know about you but I have been in that other pasture and it might be greener, but it’s not the real thing!!
Its Astro turf! It looks pretty but it can’t feed you. How’s that for a metaphor? It looks good but it isn’t. It is deceptive. I choose to stay on my side of the fence, the side where it’s safe and there’s a Sheppard on duty 24hrs a day. Friends, you will never completely feel like you fit in anywhere. Not while we live on this earth. When we get to Heaven then and only then will we know that we are home and we are in our rightful place. Then, we will have that true sense of belonging. But until then, I will trust my Sheppard to always remind me that I belong to Him and I will learn to love who I am in Him. Even, if I am a sheep of a different color. @gypsydallassmith.com