Friends, I have something I want to share. I will probably even do a video about it:) Today was a day, that God showed His favor and blessings in such an intimate way to me personally.
I had a writing ministry years ago and I truly loved it, I had a Faith Column that I wrote in every week for 7 years, for our local newspaper. I was faithful in ministry and involved in several different things, including running for our local City Council. I guess I have always been a change agent at heart. I didn’t win, but I learned a lot. During that time when I appeared to have many successes and recognition by my peers, I was a mess. I was hiding behind a genuine smile, but a hidden pain of abuse. I was in a very toxic marriage. He was not physically abusive, but in every other way, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and sexually. I did well to hide it. Only my mom who helped me through it knew. After much fear, pain and countless hours of tears and prayers. I moved out and filed for divorce. It went against biblically what I thought was right.
However, I had to decide between what religion made me believe and what I knew to be true about my God. That He is loving and kind and merciful. Yes, He hates divorce, because it hurts families. But I don’t believe for one second that God ever created marriage for us to be abused. If I had not believed the heart of God, I would have suffered at the hands of religion til death.
I was mocked by friends, peers and even family, who had round table discussions about what a hypocrite I was. I was accused of horrible things and I could barely breathe most days from the suffocation of religious bondage most people tried to condemn me with.
People, said I should go back for the kids, go back because your sinning against God. Someone even came to my home and tried to give me a prophetic word that if I went back God would restore. I never believed that. If they knew what I had endured for 17 years they wouldn’t believe it either. Prophesy should always confirm and exhort and bring correction in love when needed. Not condemnation.
I cried out to God, because more than anything I was afraid of disappointing Him. No one else just Jesus. And so I said, “God, please don’t make me go back, but if you want me to go back, I will, because I love you, .”
Very clearly, I heard, “he is not the best I have for you.”
1.5 years later our divorce was over. 3 months after our divorce was final my ex husband died unexpectedly.
You see God was protecting me the whole time. I made so many mistakes, I didn’t always respond in love, I wasn’t always nice. But God protected me. I spent the last 5 years in a cave, hiding, healing, being restored.
Today, is a special day for me as the promises that God made to me about restoring all that was lost and giving me more, are coming to fruition. This year, I am stronger, wiser, and braver. This year my gifts made room for me. And today, a dream that God put in my heart about becoming an influence in Social Media, for His Glory came true. As He showed His faithfulness by allowing me to be featured on the Elijah List.
Friends, you are NEVER too far gone, NEVER so bad off that God wont restore you. NEVER so sinful that He forgets why He made you. God is Faithful and as we remain faithful to HIM even in our darkest hours, WE WILL WALK IN THE JOY OF THE LORD. And God will shine so brightly through you, that people will naturally be drawn to you. I bless you. NEVER GIVE UP!!
I am not proud of my divorce, but I will not let it go to waste. The enemy purposed 2 kill me.. But…..GOD WILL GET THE GLORY!
#hopetoday #divorceisnottheend #thereismore #nevergiveup #born2inspire
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